3.4 Call on avatars both friendly and hostile
Who are you writing for?
Most writing teachers recommend that you get very clear about this, because, as they say…
If you’re writing for everyone, you’re writing for no one.
Making an avatar can help you stay focused on your niche, your target market, the people who will be most receptive to your work.
An avatar is simply the personification of your ideal reader.
How do you make one?
You can start with demigrahics…
My ideal reader is a young woman in her 20s who is professionally successful, has a large circle of friends, but does not have an intimate partner.
Lots of writers then add psychographics…
In her professional life she’s successful and ambitious and a worthy competitor. She’s got moxie. In her personal life she’s kind, compassionate, and funny. She’s always there for her friends when they need her.
It seems like most authors stop there, once they’ve come up with a clear and specific picture of a friendly avatar. And so it stays static.
But you’re a writer. You get to play God…
You get to breathe the breath of life into your avatar so you can have a lively relationship with her.
Then ask her all the questions you want to ask.
And maybe you’ll say, “Tell me about yourself.” And she’ll replie…
I’m so sad these days because I have this loneliness in me. My friends think the world of me. They tell me I’m a treasure.
They don’t understand why I’m still a solo gal. It drives them crazy. Well, it drives me crazy, too.
I’ve got so much going for me. In every other area of my life I’m a damn good problem solver. But when it comes to intimacy, there’s a missing piece.
I was in weekly therapy for six months. But got nowhere. It just made me more hopeless to work so hard and have nothing to show for it.
But then sometimes I get really mad about all this. Like when a guy says I’m too much. Like I should be softer, more conventionally feminine. Ugh.
I’m ready to do whatever it takes to fix this intimacy thing, if only I knew what that was.
Now, wouldn’t an avatar like this give you a lot to work with? And help you stay focused on the urgent need of your readers. And help you keep your relationship with your readers warmed up and personal.
But let’s say you already know a lot about your target market. You’ve been running three–day workshops for 12 women at a time over the past three years and you’ve gotten to know 300 women with this core intimacy issue. Isn’t that enough? What do you need an avatar for?
Maybe you don’t. But maybe it would help you to have a powerful, motivating, sustaining relationship with a single (vitual) woman, instead of 300.
And maybe making an avatar would help you focus in on the core common need of all the diverse and different women you’ve worked with.
And notice in the above conversation, talking with your avatar gave you the title for your book…
The Missing Piece.
Then you can add a subtitle like: How super competent young women can break the spell of loneliness and find love.
Once you’ve got a rock–and–roll relationship going with your friendly avatar, you might want to make a hostile avatar for yourself.
Maybe you’ll decide to base this character on a high school enemy who knew all your weaknesses.
Then you’ll bring this avatar to life, so it can play devil’s advocate for you.
And you might say, “Okay avatar, let me have it.” And he replies…
This book is ridiculous. The problem you’re addressing is much too deep and personal for a self–help book.
That avatar woman of yours needs to go back to therapy. For a couple years. And she needs to find a much better therapist.
And how about you? Are you sure you’re a role model? How stable is your relationship? Are you sure it’s going to last? Maybe you should give it another ten years before you start writing advice for anyone else.
A hostile avatar raises all the objections readers might have or that your inner critic might bring up, so you can answer them, right now, immediately, which will give you a stronger, deeper relationship with your book.
And then you might ask your friendly avatar to answer your hostile avatar, like…
Shut up, you idiot. This sweet author has worked with 300 women like me. I want to hear what she has to say. I need to hear it.
I don’t have the patience for more therapy right now. And I’m suspicious that the problem is not with me and my childhood, but it’s something about strong women having to make their own way in this society that’s still so male oriented.
I need some perspectives and strategies to experiment with. Some ways to find great guys who are crazy about strong women instead of intimidated by us.
You, Mr. Hostile, you’re not helping. So just shut the F up.
