3.7 Get a great listener to interview you
What does this mean?
I was working with a writer who did a handful of interviews with friends and colleagues about the book she was working on, but she was disappointed. She didn’t hear anything new that developed her thinking.
I suggested instead, that she find some people to interview her. She balked. She felt shy about asking for that. So I started interviewing her. I didn’t try to help her move her work forward…
I just got curious.
I asked her all kinds of questions that I had fun asking…
Where did this idea first come from? Does it go back as far as childhood?
When do you feel joy in your writing? How deep does it go?
How is your writing voice different from your everyday voice?
If you were to give your writing persona a name what would it be? And what’s her backstory?
Tell me about a breakthrough moment in your writing. And another. And one more.
What author are you most like as a writer? Who are you most different from?
When you’re doing your book tour what kinds of questions do you expect to get? What if you get a question that surprises you, what would it be?
What’s the appreciation you’d most like to hear from a fan? What would move you most deeply?
What appreciation do you need now, in the midst of this serious work of writing, this time before you have much to show, and you might feel lonely?
What do you want to ask friends and family for that you haven’t already?
What do you guess this book will mean to you when you’re old and gray?
You can give your interviewer instructions, like…
I want to ask you to interview me for twenty minutes. All you have to do is get curious and play with questions, whatever comes to mind.
You see, I already know what I know. I know what I’ve figured out about this writing project. But I want to surprise myself. I want to get out of my familiar comfort zone. I want to cross the boundary into new territory. And I’d really appreciate it if you could help me with this.
I decided to ask you because you surprise me sometimes with the things you say and do and I really like that.
Please only say yes if this sounds like fun. If you don’t want to do it, that’s okay, I’ve got several other people I’m also asking.
Please feel free to ask any question you want. Actually, the stranger the question the better as far as I’m concerned. If one of your questions makes me feel too vulnerable, not to worry, I’ll just say, “Pass!” and you can move on to your next question.
Remember, the above is only the sketch of an invitation. You want to do your ask in your own way for what you need.
The point of these curiosity interviews is to discover what very different people elicit from you. What do they provoke? Where do they take you that you wouldn’t go on your own? And in the process you get to deepen the dimensions of the project you’re working on.
Of course you want to record these interviews so you can listen back to them. And when you listen back, you might hear yourself say something that in the moment didn’t seem like anything, but now strikes you as very important.
